Former Prime Minister Scott "ScoMo" Morrison thanked God for being awarded Australias highest honour in the Kings Birthday Honour List, calling it another miracle.
ScoMo told reporters:
The former PM, who also holds the Guinness World Record for the most ministerial portfolios at any given time, has been awarded the Kings birthday gong for the NSW State Governmentsresponse to the COVID pandemic.
Australia Day Award Committee board memberBronwyn Bishop AOsingled out ScoMo's efforts during the pandemic:
It was undoubtedly a gargantuan effort from Five Ministry Morrison, who could also be seen welding, cooking, building chicken coops and randomly washing hair during this period.
ScoMo is credited with leading Australians through other crises, such as during the Black Saturday bushfires, when he cut shorthis holiday in Hawaii by almost two whole days to return to Australia and try to shake peoples hands while their houses burned down.
Added Mrs Bishop,Selfless is not the word!
ScoMo was also commended for his unwavering work inprovidinglong-term accommodation for aspiring immigrants, especiallyon Nauru and Manus Island.
Five Ministries Morrison'sis fondly remembered as the architect of Robodebt, when he managed to get people offwelfare and back onto the streets an achievement for which he refused to take credit during the ensuing Royal Commission.
"He took on five ministries secretly without even telling anyone he was doing it," said Mrs Bishop."Talk about a hard worker!":
The award presentations were followed by the former PMlaunchinginto alengthy soliloquyin whichhe reprised his 2020 Election speech, thankingGod for his miracle and for providing inspiration for his curries, but it eventually had to be cut short as the Lane Cove branch of the Liberal Party needed their function room back.
Also awarded an honour was veteran left-leaning broadcaster Phillip Adams for his decades of work in the Australian broadcasting and film industry, and most especially hisredent decision toretirefrom the ABC.
Ms Bishop noted the award committees hope that giving Adams a former Australian Republican of the Year, andmember of the Communist and Labor Parties the award on the Kings Birthday alongside Scott Morrison may persuade him to never decide to rescind his recend decision to retire.
Mr Adams toldIAthat he didnt ***king care what day [he] received the honour, [he] deserved it. He further noted that he "received the first of [his three Australia Day honours] from Gough himself, who seaparated them from the monarchy."
As for Scott Morrison receiving the same honour, Mr Adams was untroubled, although he added ideally the former PM's award should have been posthumous.
Others on the honours listinclude Nats MP Barnaby Joyce for his commitment to family values that led to the acclaimed bonk ban,Pauline Hanson for her work in promoting multiculturalism and tolerance,and Peter Dutton for his work in Indigenous affairs, including during his time in the Queensland Police Force in generously giving lifts to the country for Indigenous children, as well his stand on reconciliation and well as his walking, usually straight out of of the chamber whenever the topic was raised.
Businessman Gerry Harvey also received an awardfor demonstrating that even the poorest in society are important parts of the economy, able to assist the profit margin of large corporation.
As Mr Harvey said:
